Wednesday before the picnic to France: "right where's me passport" "passport?" "yes where is it?" the wife's found hers but where's mine? "ahah! its in here" no it aint!... well after pulling the house apart twice no joy, I'll have a look tomorrow.
Thursday phoned Graham to tell him we might not be able to go cos I cant find my passport, arrggghhhhhhh!.. I was well pissed off, then I get a call from my m8 Nigel Bond from the uk-hotrods chatroom after explaining we might not be going, he says "listen toad you had better go and bloody find it m8" in that broad Welsh accent of his (blimey do the sheep run and hide when he speaks lol) "I will m8 I'll find it".
So home I go to try and find this bloody passport, then "yes! yes! yes! ohhh Yes!" I found it, only in the place I've looked more than a dozen times previous, what a numpty!. or was it the Passport gremlins? whooooo!
Saturday 6.15am I get the rod out ready for the off, we're off by 6.35am down the A3 then onto the M25 to meet up with Graham and Carol in their 32 coupe, Mark Belcher and family in their stunning model "A" at the Clacket lane services, then after a freshen up, off we go to get onto the M20 down to Ashford Kent to meet up with all the others that were coming on the picnic with us. As we pulled into the channel tunnel complex there parked up is all the others waiting for us.
So we drive off on mass, so we can go and book in to get the train to Calais,
damn! a 40 min delay, oh well can't be helped. So we're all signing in when we
realise! " hold on we've lost one" "kev Jerrett" (in
that lovely 63 Capri he has just bought from Kev Rooney) "where is he?"
there he is, sitting down eating the biggest breakfast I've ever seen. That's it
we're all here and accounted for, all that is left now is to drive onto the train, a
few had un-corked just for the occasion (bloody hell was that loud hahahahaha).....on
we go and park up and we're asked to put the handbrake on and put it into1st
gear, then the train starts to pull away (me I'm crapping myself as I'm claustrophobic).
We're all chatting away about this and that and trying to find out who could speak French "well I've been watching Del Boy" I say :>) The next thing we're in France in no time at all and would soon be putting our French to the test...ooh laa laa..
As we drive off the train there are a couple of French rail workers, who encourage us to put our foot down, so Mike Hughes and me decide to go for it then "SHIT" a ramp.......... we managed to slow down just in time before we went airborne. Then we all group up for the cruise down to Amiens about 161kms away. With Graham up front and everyone following through country lanes and little villages the locals all looking on in amazement at us cruising along even the French Hot Hatch boys were enjoying seeing our hotrods and customs driving along especially a guy in a Peugeot 205 convertible with the biggest red flames painted down the side of his car you can imagine (glad I had blacked out windows cos we was pissing ourselves laughing). We drove through this old village and I could almost imagine seeing the German soldiers marching through the lovely old streets 65years ago ( a very strange feeling) then after about an hour's more driving, we have to slow down because of a tractor that is chugging along at 5 miles an hour. I spot a football game going on to my left and the goalie spots us and he's watching us driving past, instead of the watching the other team, as they score a goal in his goal hahahaha!, We are still pee'ing ourselves as the tractor pulls over to let us pass and off we go on our merry way to Amiens..
Some are getting low on fuel so we pull into a petrol garage to fill up and the locals ask us if it was ok to take some photos. Graham then says "we'll pull in soon to get some food". So once filled up with fuel we go in search of somewhere to eat after about 10 mins Graham pulls over and goes to ask this local girl where there is a place to eat (as Graham says he can speak French) then he and the girl walk back to his coupe and says to Carol "you speak to her" Carols reply "she's asking for a pencil" "I knew that" Graham says (hahahahaha),.
Now armed with directions of a suitable eating place, off we go and come to a
car park just off the main road and park up only to hear this burble of a V8
coming nearer, then we see this flamed Camaro but he doesn't see up and keeps on
driving. So we carry on walking and turn into this square where there is loads
of cafes and restaurants, after a lengthy discussion trying to decide
which one to go into, we all pile into one, then we start to try and order our
food ( me I think I ordered 1 donkey, 3 lampshades and a haircut, which I don't
need) "what drink would you like" asks the waiter and my wife asks
for a "cocka" (thinking this is French for coke) to which the
whole place bursts out laughing, even the waiter can't keep a straight face,
then Grahams wife Carol asks if anyone knows what "Toad" is in French
( thanks Carol) and Mark Belchers wife Debbie says "I'll have a look in
me French book" ah! here it is" CRAPOO ( that's it I
know what I'm gonna be called all weekend) even the kids couldn't stop
laughing. After a good feed and water, Me, Shirley and our children pay and go
into the cake shop next door (yum!yum!) you haven't seen cakes like these, "I'll
have that one, that one, that one there and that one over there and the one with
the double chocy topping!" Once back at the car park, we all hear this
voice shouting "take me to england I want a house and some money"
everyone turns to see Micky Dowling's m8 Bob in an old French woman's mask
(bloody good one too) which was hilarious to say the least.. Anyway we
haven't got to Amiens yet, so we still had the final part of the outward journey
to enjoy, all the motors fired up and we left in convoy looking mighty Cool I
must say..
On arriving at our motel ( lovely place is was too) we are all given our room keys with parking right outside our rooms, our room was great, with a big double bed, tv, tea and coffee facilities, bath, hair dryer (yes I know I don't need a hair dryer but the wife does) and a single bed. We decide that Shirley will share the double bed with our children and I'll have the single bed that's that sorted. We can now all get ready to go out for dinner with Ian Langdon getting as many people as he could in his Mercury and me and my family following behind in our Rod. We drive upto a place called "buffalo grill" we all sit down and order "shit" its all in French and Graham comes over to help us then this French guy on the table next to us, who kindly helps us out with the menu, we order our food Ok and when the waitress brings us our food I think I know I'll impress her with me excellent command of the French language by saying Hello good day or summit like that, it turns out what I really said was " goodnight" in perfect French (what a numpty!)...
After we finish our meals we all headed off back to the motel for drinks (now we're talking), as we get in to the bar the others are all there and Mike Hughes was doing his Jar Jar Binks (from star wars) walk impression cus he has had a few, we try and catch him up but after just a few beers we all head off to our rooms. Ahhh great a bed to myself, I get into bed then stretch out only to find the bloody beds a foot and a half shorter than me and me feet hit the wall pushing me up the bed and now me head is coming off the other end of the bed AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! funny thing is I get a good sleep *hum?* must of been the few extra night caps I had or just sheer contentment... Night Night!!
Sunday morning I'm up at 5.30am and notice that's its been raining in the night and it looks like its gonna start again, Saturday it was sunny and warm but maybe not today ah well.. Best have some coffee and a smoke before we go and get some breakfast, and then it's back to the room to get ready for another days driving. While Shirley is getting things ready I'm outside talking to Graham, Micky Dowling gives Graham this little box with a metal petrol pump in it "god that looks like one of those petrol pumps displays that are for for showing off your model collections that are at the shows for about £500 or are they £700? "... I say " I wouldn't buy one of those plastic things I don't think there worth it" I add, to which Micky replies "I've sold quite a few" shit I could of died I didn't realise it was the same guy....... by this time Graham, Micky and Bob are really pissing they're self's laughing, but Micky took it all in good spirit ( thank god he's bigger than me). So now we all go and hand our keys in and pay for our nights stay and we're all ready for the off.... hold on where's Mike Hughes and Marilyn? ....there still in bed. "someone go and give them a shout" some of us decided to get some fuel while they get them self's together and pull into this garage the attendant runs out from behind his counter grabbing one of them throw away cameras off the shelf and starts taking pictures like a mad man, totally forgetting about the people inside waiting to pay for petrol hahahahaha!. We fill up and head back to the motel to meet the others and Mikes now up from his deep slumber and already getting some breakfast. We then finally leave for the shopping centre in Calais and it starts to rain (not heavy) and then the roads that were a joy to drive on the day before aint so good in the wet with some of us not getting very good traction, ya know when pulling away from the lights and roundabouts became fun, which did look good at times, at one point the 54 Chevy decided to go around the roundabout sideways which looked real cool but must of shit everyone up in it. But on we go and the weather starts getting better, when we stop off for more fuel this local kid about 16 ( looked like a French Matt from the uk-hotrods chatroom) comes over and asks me if he could take some photos, "yes" I replied and he clicks away like a kid in a toy shop and I let him sit in my rod and I take his picture with his camera and he goes round everyone shaking their hands and then he drives of in a brand new Merc !! " blimey did u see what he was driving" we're all saying "didn't look old enough to drive".
So off out onto the French Highways to carry on with our great French Pique-nique
Run. We decided to take the toll road
to make up some time when the sun came out and seeing all our rods cruising along
with all the scenery in the background was just amazing. Seeing them all crossing bridges and
seeing massive power windmills as a backdrop, you could of mistaken it for
California............. well if ya closed one eye ;>). I don't think anyone wanted it to end.
When we came to the end of the toll road, we decided to pull over to stretch our legs, and relieve our bladders... After, when we were all stood about, shooting the breeze, Graham pulls out a hat and picks a name out of it, 1st prize goes to "Micky Dowling" and Micky receives £50 and the second prize goes to "Kev Jerrett" and Kev gets £50 also and everyone is clapping and saying what a brilliant time we've all had and cant wait till next year, yes there is one next year as everyone got Graham to agree to do it, but Belgium this time.
After some more great driving, a stop at the shops was in order, to spend some money....
god were the wife and kids
looking forward to that, but only to find out the shops don't open on Sundays
(Jeez were the women pissed about that one) hahahaha but having the shops closed meant
we had more for beer and ciggies... So Bob shows us the way to the place to get our
beer (yippee) and we all load up, some more than others, oh and we did have our
very own Customs officer with us so we only bought our quota Honest!. Now I know why Ian had
that mercury! after loading up with beer we set off for the train back to
Ashford Kent and book in only to find out we're boarding the train in 30 mins
shit I need baccy, so we all dash off to the terminal to get our baccy and then
get on the train. Whilst on the train we all
say our goodbyes and keep repeating to Graham what a fantastic time we all had
and thanked him for all the hard work he had put into making this a really great
picnic and how we was all looking forward to doing the same next year in
Belgium. All to soon the train pulls in to the station and we all have to go our separate ways, me and Graham
go onto the Guildford cruise for a bite to eat and another Hot Rod fix,
only after that are we ready to go home.......................all in all, this was one of the best
Hot Rodding Fix's this year, that I have done,
covering more than 450miles in total..............and THANKS!
to everyone who came along and made this run what it was
..........................but most of all a BIG THANKS! to Graham (whiff)
Smith for all the hard work he put in to it, to make it run so smoothly, with
the emphasis on Driving our Rods this Rod fix will keep us all nice and
warm over the Winter until the next season
starts...........................................TOAD!